And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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