I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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