This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
