remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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