I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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