I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fuck appropriateness.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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