Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize