Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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