her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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