People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
