My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
