Sponge bath it is.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
