fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So much Jack, so little girl.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
