I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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