Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize