i don't like sucking hair
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
