I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
