Me too!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
