you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
