she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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