if you like me you must not know who I am
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think a kid would responsible me up
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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