Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
