We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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