Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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