Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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