So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
