i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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