it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
