Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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