I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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