Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
