What a fucking waste of an outfit
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
