you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's the barista slut.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
