i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
