the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
