I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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