he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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