Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
