She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
