The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
