people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
