Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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