Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize