Sry I called you an 8
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
