Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
