Where is the hickey?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
