I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize