I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
