We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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