I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
