oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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