We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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