why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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