My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
