There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
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What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
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Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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