Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
