Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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