He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!