dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!