Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.

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  (917): i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night. http://tfl.nu/z30p
  Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (3817)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  mmm whisky

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  reminds me of losing my job

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  (402): mmm whisky (402): reminds me of losing my job http://tfl.nu/6ugp
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (2699)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'

  (810): View more from Michigan

  needless to say i wont be back home tonight

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  (810): dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?' (810): needless to say i wont be back home tonight http://tfl.nu/wf6u
  Replies (38) Good night (4889) Bad night (531)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1017) Bad night (5384)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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  (201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas
  Replies (40) Good night (660) Bad night (4205)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
  Replies (37) Good night (10829) Bad night (943)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience

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  (360): drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience http://tfl.nu/ehko
  Replies (10) Good night (1082) Bad night (4814)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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  (819): He was spoon feeding me wine all night. http://tfl.nu/fggg
  Replies (4) Good night (3113) Bad night (918)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.

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  (864): and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot. http://tfl.nu/9hr6
  Replies (10) Good night (2236) Bad night (1563)
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  (716): View more from New York

  come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!

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  (716): come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk! http://tfl.nu/py4j
  Replies (6) Good night (3510) Bad night (843)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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  (678): I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/k0mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2881) Bad night (691)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (991)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it

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  (484): somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it http://tfl.nu/giry
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1139)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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  (720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6
  Replies (8) Good night (1214) Bad night (202)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

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  (303): And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink http://tfl.nu/e5yq
  Replies (0) Good night (96) Bad night (120)

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