So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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