she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
