I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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