I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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