my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
