My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
