Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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