no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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