no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
