omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
